Thursday, July 11, 2013

Moving and more

No not us, well, not that I am certain of, but we got word on Sunday after picking Samantha up that her Mom and Step-Dad had put an offer on a house and it was accepted.

So, they are moving. About a half hour North of us. Which means, things are going to change.

This news didn't come as a complete surprise because we've know for some time that they were looking and Samantha is always telling us of all the houses they look at and the cool/scarey/weird/exciting facts about them. She is very excited about this house, as she should be. It's a very cool thing to move into a new house! (One dream I always had as a child was to move some place new but that never happened. My mom still lives in the house I grew up in.) And it's wonderful to see her eye light up with all the possibilities for exploring the large piece of property surrounding the house, but it's also a bit sad for us.

For years we have been blessed to live with in a couple miles of her Mom making school, activities, weekly switches and life in general, pretty easy. (I use that term loosely. Divorce is not easy) A 5 minute drive if something was forgotten. A pop over and drop off an important paper from school. Soccer, dance, gymnastics, girl scouts and all the other activities. Fairly painless coordinating of schedules. And as far as we can tell, school is staying the same this year but not sure about the years to come. There's alot of change that is going to happen. Change that directly affects our family and change we don't have much say in. But, for Samantha's sake and so that Mark can continue to be as involved of a father as he is now, we will make any and all sacrifices.

That's what being a parent is. It's loving completely, fully, without reserve and filled with endless sacrifice. And with a blended family, particularly being on the Dad side of things, it's seriously considering uprooting your family from a home they love, putting your career on hold (or a slower track), all so that you can be an involved parent. So that you won't be looked upon as an uninvolved father simply because your 10 year old daughter will now be a half an hour away every other week. (I have a hard time when I am at the store for an hour away from the girls. I have no clue how he handles being away from her for a whole week!)

This kind of life isn't one that I ever dreamed I would be apart of. Divorce wasn't something I encountered until College. I was sheltered. The world was different. Divorce isn't natural. It's hard. It's ugly. It's emotionally and physically damaging to children and the spouses.I pray that all possible options can be tried before people just jump towards the divorce route. Living a life seperate from your kids is unnatural. Living a life still involving a person you have known so intimately and have a child with but no longer being married to them, starting a new life with a new family is hard and takes years to adjust to. Mothering a child who isn't your own but you care for as your own, treding carefully not to love too much for fear you may step over some invisible boundary of "natural Mom teritory only" is draining and watching your husband cringe as she calls another man Daddy, is NO FUN AT ALL!

And of course we worry about her making new friends, if she goes to a new school how she will handle it, adjusting to a new home, new routines, new everything! I pray that the normality of our home helps her in this time of transition and I am ever so grateful for all the friends that she has in this neighborhood. So, so grateful.

Pray for us. Pray for Samantha. Pray we are gracious, understanding and selfless. Pray, pray, pray!


  1. prayers, colleen, for grace, and for healing. for everyone. prayers.

  2. I totally missed this post until you linked to it in your newer one. Definitely still praying, even with the update that they're not moving...definitely praying.

  3. My parents divorced when I was in middle school, and my mom moved literally three blocks away. It made life so much easier than it could have been, given the situation. I saw your above update on this, and it's good to hear that things are staying as they are for now!