Monday, May 12, 2014

If I could do this day over...

If you could do your day over, what would be the things you'd change? Or keep the same? 
As the night grows later, my thoughts grow deeper. I examine my actions and think, if I could do this day over...
-would I discipline better, more effectively and not scream in frustration? 
-would I stop to ask why she chose the long sleeve dress when the temps are supposed to hit 80?
- will I next time tell her how pretty she looks and treasure these moments of glee and joy over a frilly dress with sparkles?
-would I explain, and not scream in fear and frustration, when she crosses not once but twice in front of a car while riding her bike. Fear that her precious life could end and how sad that would make mommy. And cover her with hugs and kisses so she knows how proud I am of how well she rides. 
-would I not speak quickly, and rudely, to my dear husband when he discloses that he has no ride home from work! How can this be, why didn't you plan better? Or...
-would I stop and laugh, bc this is such a Mark move and this is why I love him. He's carefree, a free spirit, always thinking of others and never wants to be a bother. He gives and gives and expects very little in return. 
-would I show more graditude when he miraculously finds a way home in time for dinner. 
-would I speak more with Sammy, try to find ways to connect. Thank her for all the help she is with Miriam and how much we all miss her when she's gone. 

But I can't go back. I can only go forward     Tomorrow's a new day and I pray that I will learn from today. 

slow down. 
Then speak. 
Show gratitude. 
Love. And show it. 

Friday, May 9, 2014

7 Quick Takes - Lasik, a funeral, clogged drains and #SOTG

This past week I have recovering from Lasik eye surgery. I had worn glasses since I was 7 years old (pretty sure I needed them earlier but being the 6th of 6 kids, my mom shushed me and said I just wanted to be like all my siblings #notsomuch). Right before entering high school I got my braces off and I told my mom all I wanted for my Birthday and Christmas that year was contacts. And that's what I got! So, from the age of 13-25 or 26, I wore contacts almost exclusively and man, were my eyes bad. Like, real bad. I was was near sighted and if I wanted to take off my glasses or take out my contacts and see, I had to be within inches of whatever I was trying to see. 
Since being a stay at home mom, I went back to glasses mostly because I was lazy and saw no point in messing with contacts. My babies don't care what I look like and that is good (yoga pants for life!), but since I stopped wearing contacts all the time, I had such difficulty with them on the rare occassions I would try to wear them and glasses become a hassle when you are up and down with a baby for 6+ months, a couple times a night. 
I asked my hubby if we could swing it and he is a huge advocate of it bc he had it done 8 years ago and had huge success with it. 
We swung it.
After a week of recovery, 9 gallons of eye drops, wet, sticky eye lashes, dry, itchy eyes (that you're not allowed to touch), I am happy to say that I am seeing 20/20 for the first time in over 23 years! 

Some things they didn't tell me about Lasik that I am going to share with you:
- they check your eyes about 10-15 different times in a two week period and each time they did this, they said, "okay, we are just going to double check that prescription of yours!" Someone needs to let them in on what "double" check means! 
-if you are going to put the procedure on your credit card to reap the benefit of all the points you'll get, call your CC company first so they don't think it's fraud and freeze your card, embarrassing you and your husband and delaying the procedure by a good 20 minutes! 
-operating rooms are cold. Dress warmly.
-When the nurses or doctors hint at "a small bit of pressure" that you'll feel, look deep into their eyes and say LIAR!!
They place a suction cup type thing on your eye to keep it steady and if I wasn't pinned to the table out of fear of going blind, I would have jumped up and run out!
-And when they tell you "afterwards, your eyes will sting, like you're cutting a big onion", ask them how big? And before they answer, quickly say "AS BIG AS THE EARTH IS AROUND!"
This "slight stingy" felt more like liquid fire being poured into my eyes and here's the kicker, you can't touch your eyes at all. So I just laid and cried.
Mark said "you've given birth two times and this hurts?" I yelled at him "there's drugs for that!"

Unfortunately, the same day that I had Lasik done, my nephew whom I asked for prayers for in the past 8 months, passed away. 
He had Tay Sachs. Had chemo in October and a stem cell transplant to hopefully re-wire his body to produce the right blood cells instead of the ones he had been producing. About 3 weeks before Christmas, he contracted a virus and had been battling it ever since. 
He was the sweetest, most precious little man that I've ever met. 
He was just two years old when he passed away. 
He was able to receive his First Holy Communion and his Confirmation the week before he passed. 
My brother in law and sister in law were swarmed with friends, family, love, notes, meals, and prayers, so many prayers in his last days.
He passed away during the Litany of Saints. Right before he passed, he opened his eyes for the first time in 2 weeks, seeing his mother cradling him in her arms. He also moved his hips which was odd bc he had become paralyzed from the waist down from seizures.
He is with Jesus now. 
He is our own personal Saint.

His funeral was the most difficult experience of my life. 
It was a bag of mixed emotions.
Sadness because of the loss of his life.
Helplessness because I had no words to say or way to help his parents.
Joy that his is resting at the Heavenly Banquet with Jesus, Mary and all the angels and Saints!
Peace that Emeric will be praying for us from that day forward.
Fear for the future. What will life be like for my sis and bro in law?
Love of family. Of the Catholic faith. Of the promise of Eternal life.
Gratitude for Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross.

Emeric's Mass of Christian Burial was the second most beautiful Mass I've ever attended.
Top of the list was my brother in laws priestly ordination. 
At Emeric's Mass there were 8 priests celebrating Mass! 8 priests! There was incense, a beautiful Latin hymn chanted by one of my brother in laws during Communion, and a friend of my sister in laws who I believe is a trained opera singer, sang Ave Maria.
People were crying freely because it was sad, oh so sad. And the casket was smaller than my kitchen table but of the underlying joy that Emeric was instantly at Jesus' side in Heaven. Instantly held in the bosom of Mary. He was watching over us and praying for us. Waiting for us til we meet again. 

The day before, we were supposed to be hosting Mark's family in between viewings because we live close(ish) to the funeral home and it was the least we could do so that my sis and bro in law wouldn't be bombarded back at their house.
Well, that was all fine and dandy until I went into the basement to get paper products for the gathering and noticed a smell.
An odd smell, like a refrigerator door had been left open, or like...
our drains were backed up underground and all the water/dishwasher gunk/garbage disposal choppings and 7 loads of laundry dirt was sitting in and flowing out of my basement sink!!! 
For the love!
It was awful. It was stressful. It took hours of my husbands labor, two plumbers, a threat of breaking our basement floor to pieces, talk of it costing $$$$$$$$, a panicked phone call to my sister in Maryland saying we might be visiting sooner than later and the thought that in the back of my mind this wasn't so bad when I realized that my brother and sister in law were at their only child's viewing right then and there. 
We (the second plumber) got it draining again about an hour before the funeral and Mark reasembled all the pipes so that I we only went about 30 hours without a kitchen sink. 
Oh how I missed it and the dishwasher! 

While all this was going on, I somehow managed to read Jennifer Fulwiler's  
It was fantastic.
 I tweeted a few of my favorite parts to her and she hit me back. Because, we're like BFF. Or only in my dreams really...actually, haven't dreamt of her before, only of Kathryn Whitaker because I secretly wish we could all live close and be Crazy Catholics together! 
Anyway, I'd like to devote a whole post to my thoughts on the book but seriously, it's worth a buy. Or a peek. A preview on the Kindle. Come on, just download it.
That is all! 

Sorry for no pictures. I'll try better next time!
Have a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all you Moms out there (grand/god/step/like-a/aunt/best friend/foster/adopted/)
Peace out.

BE sure to click over to 7 Quick Takes at Jen's and check out the wonderfulness that is her blog...and all other 100 people or more that participate!