"Just don't have more (kids)..."

Last night we went on our nightly walk, sans Mark who had a softball game, and stumbled upon a large group of neighbors hanging in their yard. Their girls invited my girls in to play for a bit so I have the obligation to stay and chat. I say obligation because I am finding over time that I just don't have much in common with these ladies but they are nice, our kids are around the same age and well, we aren't moving anytime soon, so I feel like I need to make nice and chat as best I can.

Since Miriam is the youngest of the group, and needs help on the swings, I hung with the 7 kids for the first 20 mins or so and chatted, played, helped all of them while their parents were lounging by the picnic table enjoying an adult beverage. Was I bothered by this, slightly. Did I wish that at least 1 of them would come over and acknowledge my presence or the fact that I was taking care of their kids, yes. Was I somewhat relieved that I could get to know the kids better and they know me better without any influence from their parents, absolutely. After awhile, Miriam got bored and wanted to play on the porch and the big kids went off and did their own thing, so I meandered over to the adult table and sat down, awkwardly.

"Oh, Colleen. We were just saying how it stinks that you have to be over with the kids all this time, since Miriam is so little."
"I don't mind it much. She still needs help"
"Just wait, in a few years, they can do it all on their own. Just don't have anymore!!!!!"
"Well, we probably will have more...I'm only 29... "
"You're crazy. We are done!"

So I've heard, for the past year you've said that, very openly and it makes me sad. Because that lady is just 30 and has two little girls that I am sure would love another younger sibling. And the other two ladies got married in their later 30s and may not be able to have kids anymore, but still, they think more than 2 is crazy.

And ya know, two is nice. They play well together, they have each other to learn from, talk to and hang out with, but honestly, the more I watch them, the MORE KIDS I WANT!!!

Seriously, those two girls are my life. They are my everything. And, I was thinking, this life I am living isn't mine at all! It's a gift from God. I am here to do HIS work and live out the vocation that HE chose for me and that vocation is to be married and be a mother. I feel so selfish when I look at motherhood as a box to check just so I can get on with MY life and persue MY dreams and fill up on all that society tells me is important.

I try to read the readings of the day and a reflection every morning and it never ceases to surprise me that the reflection hits the nail on the head within relation to my musings of late.
Here's the reflection (today is Mary Magdalene's feast day 7/22):

 DOING YOUR OWN THING?  

 "He died for all so that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for Him Who for their sakes died and was raised up." —2 Corinthians 5:15  

 Many people think that living for themselves, doing their own thing, getting their way is the goal of life. However, after they try this for a while, they feel empty. At first, they think that the cause of their emptiness is failing to get their own way in everything. So they try to do their own thing even more, but this makes matters even worse. Finally, they begin to suspect that the constant, self-centering brainwashing they've received over the years was a big lie. Then these people hear about or remember when they heard about Jesus, the cross, dying to self (Lk 9:23), and following Jesus. Could it be that Jesus crucified is the Truth, the Way to happiness, and the Meaning of life? (see Jn 14:6) Mary Magdalene found out that there's no such thing as doing your own thing. When she thought she was doing her own thing, she was being manipulated and enslaved into doing the devil's things. She was possessed by seven devils (Lk 8:2). Finally, she met Jesus and decided to do His thing — even if it meant weeping at the foot of His cross (Jn 19:25) and at His grave (Jn 20:11). Through, with, and in Jesus, she discovered the meaning of life. She met Jesus, Who is Life (Jn 14:6), when He rose from the dead.   Prayer: Father, may I live a life of love, not of self.

(Rescript: In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant my permission to publish One Bread, One Body covering the period from June 1, 2014 through July 31, 2014.†Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, January 2, 2014.)

I have "lived" for myself before and let me tell you where it got me....So freaking far from Jesus I was two steps from falling into a deep, deep, deep disrepair. I came to Jesus and asked him what He wanted from my life and slowly but surely, He has led me to the life I lead today.

How blessed I am to have these beauties call me Mom,

to have a husband who loves me and cherishes our marriage

and friends and family surrounding me endlessly.

 

 

How could I not want to watch the love to continue to grow? How selfish I feel when I say, yeah we're not going to have anymore so I can sit and drink the night away instead of spending 20 minutes pushing the kids on a swing.
Even Mark the other day said "The girls are growing so fast...they're not going to be little much longer." He's got a heart for the Lord and I know that he desires another sweet little soul to love on as much as I do. If that makes us crazy, then so be it. At least we'll be crazy together.

7Quick Takes - photo drop

Because I have ALWAYS been more of a visual person than a writer (i need to find old pics of my childhood room, it was covered from floor to ceiling with (mostly attractive men) posters. A different story for another day!

But here's the past week in photos! Enjoy!

1

Fourth of July

Apparently parades are a normal thing to most people on the 4th, but growing up we never saw one. Then I moved to Pittsburgh right before we married and came to find out that it was Mark's favorite holiday and the parade by his parent's house is a tradition from his childhood that he still keeps! 

Prior to the parade is a 5k race that 9 of his family members participated in...his bro in law wheel chaired 3.2 miles. He's a winner in my book!

And parades are really exhausting events...

 2

The partied continued the next day at Mark's brother's house where they put on quite a bbq! There was water games, horse shoes, volleyball and MORE FOOD! 

And in the Gruber family, there's always a baby to hold. I pray it will be that way for as long as I'm alive!

Cousins.

Nothing says summer like water balloons, bonfires and cotton candy skies. 

3

So, Juliana begins official preschool in September! I was nervous because she's pretty advanced when it comes to talking, writing and counting and I didn't want her to be in a class with kids that had just turned 3 and were still potty training (no offense if that's your kid!)

Plus, she'll be 4 in October and is high energy, which needs to be directed in positive ways, otherwise...destruction!

But, her class list was printed when I went to pick up her packet and more than half of the class has end of the year birthdays and will be 4 before Christmas. 

4.

So, I'm not sure if this a Pittsburgh thing but again, never had this growing up in MD...Church Festivals?

Every Catholic Church around puts on a huge (depends on size of church) carnival type event every summer. They last from 3-6 days and they are a HUGE money maker for the school. 

We went to the one at Samantha's school this past Monday (which is not our parish) and had a lovely time! Mark's bro and Juli's God-Father, Fr. (Uncle) Fred Gruber, met up with us and enjoyed some rides, funnel cakes, Rita's and socializing. 

One of Mark's other brothers is in Seminary to be an Oratorian Priest and he
was over our house for dinner before we left for the festival.
I love big Catholic families!

5

While at the Festival, I went perrusing through the Flea Market and got a super deal on a Janie and Jack skirt for Juls. 

These skirts run around $35-$40 and I got this for $1!!!!

Seriously, I love thrift shopping for the girls clothes!

I also spent part of the past week purging some of the clothes from the 15 bins of clothes that I have for the girls. Most of the clothing is sizes 3T and under!! I now have 2.5 trash bags full of clothes that I am going to consign in September at a Flea Market at Juli's school. And the girls still have WAY more clothes than I could ever dream of owning!

6

So...I'm crafty in the old fashioned way. Paper. Scissors. Glue and can even bake a thing or two and decorate it. But when it comes to computers, my husband takes the cake (no pun intended)! :)

I'm co-hosting a Baby Sprinkle tomorrow for a dear friend who's expecting her 3rd girl and I of course was browsing Pinterest looking for something to inspire me. I love making banner but we are having it at Olive Garden, so, that wouldn't work. 

I decided that we would give out a favor of  chocolate dipped pretzels covered in sprinkles and attached to it would be a tag "sprinkled with love"!

Cute right!

Now, it took some sweet talking and about 45 mins of my husband's night, but he made this

!!!!!

Yeah, that would have taken me 5 days and alot of unkind words to the computer, but he banged it out in less than an hour. 

Love him!! 

7

This isn't anything exciting except that I love finding my kids curled up on the couch with a book..

And the books almost as big as her! 

Have a happy weekend! :) Pop over to Jen's for more writing and probably less pictures! :) 

If I could do this day over...

If you could do your day over, what would be the things you'd change? Or keep the same? 

As the night grows later, my thoughts grow deeper. I examine my actions and think, if I could do this day over...

-would I discipline better, more effectively and not scream in frustration? 

-would I stop to ask why she chose the long sleeve dress when the temps are supposed to hit 80?

- will I next time tell her how pretty she looks and treasure these moments of glee and joy over a frilly dress with sparkles?

-would I explain, and not scream in fear and frustration, when she crosses not once but twice in front of a car while riding her bike. Fear that her precious life could end and how sad that would make mommy. And cover her with hugs and kisses so she knows how proud I am of how well she rides. 

-would I not speak quickly, and rudely, to my dear husband when he discloses that he has no ride home from work! How can this be, why didn't you plan better? Or...

-would I stop and laugh, bc this is such a Mark move and this is why I love him. He's carefree, a free spirit, always thinking of others and never wants to be a bother. He gives and gives and expects very little in return. 

-would I show more graditude when he miraculously finds a way home in time for dinner. 

-would I speak more with Sammy, try to find ways to connect. Thank her for all the help she is with Miriam and how much we all miss her when she's gone. 

But I can't go back. I can only go forward     Tomorrow's a new day and I pray that I will learn from today. 

slow down. 

Think. 

Then speak. 

Show gratitude. 

Love. And show it. 

 

7 Quick Takes - Lasik, a funeral, clogged drains and #SOTG

1

This past week I have recovering from Lasik eye surgery. I had worn glasses since I was 7 years old (pretty sure I needed them earlier but being the 6th of 6 kids, my mom shushed me and said I just wanted to be like all my siblings #notsomuch). Right before entering high school I got my braces off and I told my mom all I wanted for my Birthday and Christmas that year was contacts. And that's what I got! So, from the age of 13-25 or 26, I wore contacts almost exclusively and man, were my eyes bad. Like, real bad. I was was near sighted and if I wanted to take off my glasses or take out my contacts and see, I had to be within inches of whatever I was trying to see. 

Since being a stay at home mom, I went back to glasses mostly because I was lazy and saw no point in messing with contacts. My babies don't care what I look like and that is good (yoga pants for life!), but since I stopped wearing contacts all the time, I had such difficulty with them on the rare occassions I would try to wear them and glasses become a hassle when you are up and down with a baby for 6+ months, a couple times a night. 

I asked my hubby if we could swing it and he is a huge advocate of it bc he had it done 8 years ago and had huge success with it. 

We swung it.

After a week of recovery, 9 gallons of eye drops, wet, sticky eye lashes, dry, itchy eyes (that you're not allowed to touch), I am happy to say that I am seeing 20/20 for the first time in over 23 years! 

2

Some things they didn't tell me about Lasik that I am going to share with you:

- they check your eyes about 10-15 different times in a two week period and each time they did this, they said, "okay, we are just going to double check that prescription of yours!" Someone needs to let them in on what "double" check means! 

-if you are going to put the procedure on your credit card to reap the benefit of all the points you'll get, call your CC company first so they don't think it's fraud and freeze your card, embarrassing you and your husband and delaying the procedure by a good 20 minutes! 

-operating rooms are cold. Dress warmly.

-When the nurses or doctors hint at "a small bit of pressure" that you'll feel, look deep into their eyes and say LIAR!!

They place a suction cup type thing on your eye to keep it steady and if I wasn't pinned to the table out of fear of going blind, I would have jumped up and run out!

-And when they tell you "afterwards, your eyes will sting, like you're cutting a big onion", ask them how big? And before they answer, quickly say "AS BIG AS THE EARTH IS AROUND!"

This "slight stingy" felt more like liquid fire being poured into my eyes and here's the kicker, you can't touch your eyes at all. So I just laid and cried.

Mark said "you've given birth two times and this hurts?" I yelled at him "there's drugs for that!"

3

Unfortunately, the same day that I had Lasik done, my nephew whom I asked for prayers for in the past 8 months, passed away. 

He had Tay Sachs. Had chemo in October and a stem cell transplant to hopefully re-wire his body to produce the right blood cells instead of the ones he had been producing. About 3 weeks before Christmas, he contracted a virus and had been battling it ever since. 

He was the sweetest, most precious little man that I've ever met. 

He was just two years old when he passed away. 

He was able to receive his First Holy Communion and his Confirmation the week before he passed. 

My brother in law and sister in law were swarmed with friends, family, love, notes, meals, and prayers, so many prayers in his last days.

He passed away during the Litany of Saints. Right before he passed, he opened his eyes for the first time in 2 weeks, seeing his mother cradling him in her arms. He also moved his hips which was odd bc he had become paralyzed from the waist down from seizures.

He is with Jesus now. 

He is our own personal Saint.

4

His funeral was the most difficult experience of my life. 

It was a bag of mixed emotions.

Sadness because of the loss of his life.

Helplessness because I had no words to say or way to help his parents.

Joy that his is resting at the Heavenly Banquet with Jesus, Mary and all the angels and Saints!

Peace that Emeric will be praying for us from that day forward.

Fear for the future. What will life be like for my sis and bro in law?

Love of family. Of the Catholic faith. Of the promise of Eternal life.

Gratitude for Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross.

5

Emeric's Mass of Christian Burial was the second most beautiful Mass I've ever attended.

Top of the list was my brother in laws priestly ordination. 

At Emeric's Mass there were 8 priests celebrating Mass! 8 priests! There was incense, a beautiful Latin hymn chanted by one of my brother in laws during Communion, and a friend of my sister in laws who I believe is a trained opera singer, sang Ave Maria.

People were crying freely because it was sad, oh so sad. And the casket was smaller than my kitchen table but of the underlying joy that Emeric was instantly at Jesus' side in Heaven. Instantly held in the bosom of Mary. He was watching over us and praying for us. Waiting for us til we meet again. 

Awesome. 

6

The day before, we were supposed to be hosting Mark's family in between viewings because we live close(ish) to the funeral home and it was the least we could do so that my sis and bro in law wouldn't be bombarded back at their house.

Well, that was all fine and dandy until I went into the basement to get paper products for the gathering and noticed a smell.

An odd smell, like a refrigerator door had been left open, or like...

our drains were backed up underground and all the water/dishwasher gunk/garbage disposal choppings and 7 loads of laundry dirt was sitting in and flowing out of my basement sink!!! 

For the love!

It was awful. It was stressful. It took hours of my husbands labor, two plumbers, a threat of breaking our basement floor to pieces, talk of it costing $$$$$$$$, a panicked phone call to my sister in Maryland saying we might be visiting sooner than later and the thought that in the back of my mind this wasn't so bad when I realized that my brother and sister in law were at their only child's viewing right then and there. 

We (the second plumber) got it draining again about an hour before the funeral and Mark reasembled all the pipes so that I we only went about 30 hours without a kitchen sink. 

Oh how I missed it and the dishwasher! 

7

While all this was going on, I somehow managed to read Jennifer Fulwiler's  

 Something Other Than God book.

It was fantastic.

 I tweeted a few of my favorite parts to her and she hit me back. Because, we're like BFF. Or only in my dreams really...actually, haven't dreamt of her before, only of Kathryn Whitaker because I secretly wish we could all live close and be Crazy Catholics together! 

Anyway, I'd like to devote a whole post to my thoughts on the book but seriously, it's worth a buy. Or a peek. A preview on the Kindle. Come on, just download it.

That is all! 

Sorry for no pictures. I'll try better next time!

Have a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all you Moms out there (grand/god/step/like-a/aunt/best friend/foster/adopted/)

Peace out.

BE sure to click over to 7 Quick Takes at Jen's and check out the wonderfulness that is her blog...and all other 100 people or more that participate!

7 Quick Takes...Easter Octave and Free shoes!

It's been a lovely week thus far, and the weekend has just begun! Linking up with Jen for another edition of some QTs

1

Last weekend was obviously Easter and we obviously dyed eggs. My mother in law is kind enough to host this gathering at her house and all that are in town are welcome to come and dye-away! 

I've always loved dyeing eggs, mostly because it brought the whole family together and as the youngest of 6, doing anything with my older siblings was fun!

Well, Samantha and Juli did not feel the same way, even though there were 8 or so of their cousins dyeing eggs with them and a multitude of aunts and uncles. 

Juls was done after 3 eggs. She heard Mark offering to take her 1 year old cousin outside and she was like "I'm coming too!"

The adults had a grand time chatting, dyeing eggs, drinking coffee, eating the cracked eggs and just being a family. 

My brother in law is Polish and he grew up decorating eggs a bit differently.

He brought a huge hot plate full of melted wax and pencils with nails pushed into the erasers. You then dip the nail head into the hot wax and either drop it on or swipe it on to make a design. 

This is one of the eggs I made. His were much better!

2

That evening, Holy Saturday, there was a huge Easter egg hunt in the neighborhood. 

I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned before what an awesome neighborhood we live in and how it's filled to the brim with kids.

Well, here are the kids that could make it to the hunt

There were some missing for various reasons but wow! I feel so blessed to provide my girls with a great place to grow up and a huge number of friends just steps from our front yard!

Oh, and there were 3 pregnant women at the hunt and one who wasn't there because it's her first and she doesn't do "mom" things yet! :) 

My contribution to the hunt was a snack.

I made Egg and Cross sugar cookies that the kids got to ice and decorate on their own...or with the help of mom/dad.

I used this recipe for the cookies. It's the same one I used for our Christmas cookies and MAN, is it GREAT! 

They are the best sugar cookies! I made a basic buttercream to go with them this time but used a royal icing on them at Christmas. 

Both icings were delicious

Mim enjoying her"tootie"

3

Sunday morning we went to 8:30am Mass and of course we can't get out of the house on time. We ended up in the Daily Mass Chapel, in the very back of the Church and that was a bummer. Everyone does better when we are closer but between kids waking up late, Samantha boycotting dresses and it being 8 o'clock in the morning, it's amazing we made it at all! 

4 

Easter baskets were a hit for the kids. We never brought up the idea of the bunny because Juli is SO VERY afraid of Santa that a giant bunny coming in our house just didn't seem like a good idea. 

No matter how they got here, they were well received. 

Thank you to the Dollar Tree and Dollar Bins at Target because that is where the majority of their basket contents were from!

5

So, I mentioned above that Samantha is boycotting dresses. I remember when I was young that I didn't always love dresses either but I was ALWAYS aware that there were certain times that I was going to be required to wear one. Easter, Christmas, funerals, weddings, etc...

Maybe I could have pushed it more earlier in the week or I could have just let her wear pants on Easter but it wasn't until 8:10am on Easter morning that Samantha is in her closet browsing her very small section of dresses and dress clothes that she discovers she has nothing to wear!

Before we go pointing fingers, let me explain something: I love shopping! Always have, always will. 

I have a fashion degree. I understand clothes better than most, I f eel, and I am pretty darn good at shopping for others when I am asked to help.

Samantha OFTEN compliments me on my dresses/nice clothes/color combos and the little ones outfits, yet she has NEVER trusted my judgement on clothing for her. 

So, unless it is a matter of life or death, we don't go shopping together. 

Thankfully, my niece is a few years older than her and has passed on some cute clothes making my life so much easier, because if it's cool enough for Kaitlyn, it's cool enough for Samantha. 

6

Okay, enough of Easter...let me tell you about an awesome deal I scored on Sperry's! 

If you don't know Sperry's they are boat shoes, super cute, easy to slip on and great all weather shoes for summer! 

K, well, I've never owned a pair. Never thought I was preppy enough but alas I saw a friend in her new Sperry's and thought, I need to check into those for me. 

I didn't want to pay full market value and I am never above buying used "lightly worn" shoes, especially when a new pair can run around $70! 

So, I was checking ebay...eh, they had some but were still around $50.

I decided to click on over to thredup because they had just sent me a $15 off my next purchase and lo-and-behold there was a pair of size 8 Sperry's for $17.99!!

Say WHAT!

With my $15 off coupon that's $2.99 and I'm not a math major but that's a freaking amazing deal!

Well, I forgot that I had a credit with them because I returned something and boom, that $2.99 and my shipping were paid for and I got these bad boys

FOR FREE

Free. That's right, I got $70 shoes, for FREE. 

Now, that's a good deal! 

7

And I'll need all the extra cash I can save because I am getting Lasik done next Friday!

Mark had it done about 8 years ago and had great success with it until his Sarcoidosis gave him double vision and he's wearing glasses again.

2 of his brothers have gotten it done and I know a handful of other folks who've had great success as well. 

I will be put of commission for most of Friday but I will be done with glasses forever...well, until I am in my mid-40s and need reading glasses but that's gonna happen whether I have Lasik or not. At least I won't need super expensive bifocals at that time. 

I will have over 12 years of no glasses. I've never had 12 years of no glasses. I started wearing them in second grade and have many terrible school pictures to prove it! 

Mark said this is my Happy Mother's Day/5th Anniversary/30th Birthday/Merry Christmas present and any other holiday for the next year or two. 

Fine, I'll take being able to see over anything!!

Prayers for me, please!

Have a great weekend! 

We made it through Lent!

Happy EASTER!!

It is such a blessing to be celebrating Easter and man, what a gorgeous weekend we had here in the 'burgh! It was like a little taste of Heaven if you ask me!

So, a few weeks ago, Mark arrived home from work and was getting his drink ready for dinner and he mumbled "when is Lent going to be over?" I thought he said "when is life going to be over?!" After we cleared up this little misunderstanding and had a good laugh about how much sacrificing really takes out of you, I assured him that there was an end in sight! Mark gave up a few of his most beloved things this Lent and he was really craving some Iced Tea when that remark was made, and while we both do our best to not gripe about how hard it is, this incident was a good lesson for Samantha to witness as she had a tough morning a day or two later.

Lent is tough for us to encourage with Samantha because she changes houses every week and the way we observe Lent is surely different than at her Mom's house. And prior to this year, I really didn't believe that she was mature enough to handle sacrificing something without constant guidance. So this year, she gave up cereal, her preferred breakfast food here at our house and surely a sacrifice for her. Well, about 25 or so days in, I found her at the breakfast table with an almost completely eaten bowl of cereal in front of her. Apparently, the temptation of her favorite cereal in the cupboard had been too much and she decided to eat it. Unfortunately, she tried to cover up her decision with a lie. After a few minutes of talking, she confessed to just wanting cereal and it being "too hard"! I assured her too, that it was supposed to be hard and that her sacrifice needs to be united with Jesus' suffering and that she could offer it up for those who are suffering much more than her (namely her cousin Emeric and his parents).

We had just one other time the devil tempted her to give in and not stay true to her sacrifice, but all in all, I think she really learned some good lessons this Lent. I am hoping that as the years go by, she will grow in holiness and seek out times to suffer willingly so that she can draw closer to God (or while praying for someone else to draw closer).

Personally, I find Lent to be even harder with little ones underfoot. There is less quiet time, and I am the type that NEEDS quiet time to get some good praying in. I rose a bit earlier in the morning so that I could read the readings for the day and a short reflection offered on the app on my phone. This was so fruitful, although sometimes didn't feel like it was enough. I loved staying connected to the Mass even if I couldn't get there everyday. And it NEVER ceases to amaze me how many time Jesus is prophesied in the Old Testament and yet they STILL didn't get that it was Him, when He came! So many were blinded by sin and their own desires and thoughts of how God should be, they couldn't see Him right in front of their faces! I find that this is what Lent is good for. We are so caught up in ourselves and how we think things should be that we don't see Jesus right in front of us, calling us by name as He did to Mary Magdalene at the tomb on Easter morning!

I am very much looking forward to Lents in the future. I love to teach the kids about the Catholic faith. I want it integrated into their everything, their everyday. Their very being. We tried very hard to talk with Juls about what Lent was for and what Easter is all about and she got the gist of it. But the amazing thing is how much Miriam hears and takes in. The other night she was looking at a book and she saw Jesus and she said "Jesus. Jesus Die."

I'll post pictures of Easter Weekend later on...Have a blessed week!

2 years... Miss You Dad

Tomorrow, April 16th marks 2 years since my Dad's passing.

This date has been looming in my mind since I turned the calendar 2 weeks ago.

Two years. Has it really been that long? Is it really only that long. Some days it feels like just yesterday I got the text message that my Dad had been taken to the hospital (again) and some days, I think "so much has happened since you've gone away, man, you've miss so much."

I go back to April 15th, 2012 in my mind often. It was a warm day, not like today when it was snowing. No, Juls and I were playing outside and I snapped this picture of her.

I was marveling at the little girl she was growing into and saying goodbye to the baby I once knew. Especially since I had a new baby growing inside of me. 

I was 11 weeks along and we had just told my family the week before at Easter in Maryland. 

I had told my Mom and Dad a few weeks prior and my Dad was so proud of himself for keeping it a secret! Although, apparently he told one of his sisters with whom he wrote letters and she wrote back how excited she was for him and my mom. Thankfully Mom screened (and hid) the letter before it was left out in the open on the dining room table!

Juls and I came back inside and I began folding laundry when my phone buzzed. It was my sister Donna, saying that Dad was acting strange and they were taking him to the hospital to run some tests.

See, Dad had been battling liver cancer since November of 2008. He had 4 special treatments done and they had extended his life by 3 years longer than the doc originally gave him, which was 6 months. In that time, he was able to see his last 3 kids get married, meet and know Juliana (so well that she has vivid memories of him and still to this day talks about him), celebrate 43 years of marriage to my mom and know that I was expecting another baby. Not to mention all the wonderful day in and day out happenings that come with being a Dad to 6 kids!

But, we all knew he was fighting a losing battle and on March 22, 2012 (my parent's 43 wedding anniversary) we were told, the doctors had done all they could do and my Dad was no longer strong enough to undergo another chemo treatment. He was given, at max, 6 months to live. We all thought it would be more like 3 months. None of us imagined it would be less than 3 weeks. 

When they got to the first hospital, the closest one to my parent's house but not Georgetown where all his doctors were, he was pretty out of it and from what I was told, he fell asleep and never really woke back up. They were trying for hours to get him transferred and finally around 11pm, he was taken my helicopter to Gtown and admitted to the ICU. 

My family is a joking family. So I texted my brother and said "speedy delivery of John E. "Jack"! " (his name was John but went by Jack and the way I typed it above was how it was written on his business cards).

We joked about that all week. 

All the while I was debating on if I should drive down or not and of course in hindsight I wish I would have, but at 11 weeks pregnant it wasn't gonna happen. I fall asleep driving, especially at night. Thankfully my hubby had some sense in his head.

Dad had been in and out of hospitals for years and we didn't know if this was so serious. It wasn't until around midnight that I got the text that said  "You should come down." And I cried. 

After the least restful night of sleep, I was up at 5:30, took a quick shower and was out of the house at 6am. Before I left, all I told Mark was, "I don't want to be alone and be told he's gone!" So, I called my brother Joseph to tell him I was leaving and I told him that exact same thing.

My drive was uneventful and very reflective. I arrived around 10am...

I found my sisters and they told me Dad had passed away around 7am. 

My brother kept his promise. 

My 2 other sisters from out of state flew in and arrived not long after me. 

We all got to say goodbye as a family, all 8 of us, for one last time. 

So, a funny story...

My Dad passed around 7am. Almost immediately after he passed there was a page for a nurse over the intercom "Mary Perry, please come to room ***"

My mom and siblings that were in the room were like, "WHAT!?!"

Mary Perry was my Dad's mom's name.

There was still a doctor in the room at this time and he was like, "Mary Perry? There's no nurse named Mary Perry on this floor!"

My family knew that Dad was telling them he was already closer to his Mom than he had been in 20 years! 

Dad died Monday April 16th, 2012. Less than one month before his 70th Birthday. 

The 7 of us spent a whole week together. All of our spouses and kids  

came to support us and Dad's viewing and funeral were beautiful. My Dad was super involved in the City of College Park and for that reason, he was given a police escort from the Church to the cemetery. Shutting down a major section of 295, the Baltimore-Washington Parkway for over a half hour! 

Yet another speedy delivery of John E. "Jack"!

We miss you dad. We love you and not a day goes by that you aren't in our thoughts, our prayers and our hearts.